Bucket List

2014/01/07



As a child I thought of myself as a great dancer. I would dance on tables and sing to an audience anywhere. I would win dancing competitions (ok, it was my own birthday) and take any moment I could to dance to a Whitney Houston cassette or Madonna or New Kids on the Block. Dancing made me happy. Then something happened. The image I had of myself as a great dancer changed to feelings of clumsiness and inevitable comparisons to others. I understood that others may have their own ideas of good dancing and that my movements were often funny rather than gracious. I felt embarrassed and stopped dancing. I still dreamed that as an adult I'd have a lot of fun dancing through the night with my friends. But I never have. Instead I became the woman who will not dance to the point that it's a reputation. How sad.

Recently I have come to understand more fully that life really is a short little thing. We can spend it doing things we deem appropriate and expected of us. Often missing the simple fantastic moments of the everyday life. Or we can choose to see the magic. But even while on the train tracks of the same-old same-old, we have dreams. Maybe even personal goals. Not long ago, I came across the idea of a bucket list in a few places at the same time (a film and some blogs, I think). At first I thought it was a rather calculated attempt to maximizing happiness in life, but the more I've been thinking about it, I think I'm going to start my own bucket list. It's a way of checking with myself that while I am doing a lot of stuff because I have to, I am also not forgetting the small things I want to experience and the bigger direction I imagine for myself. It's also a more rewarding list to write and rewrite than the long list of must-have decorating items or fashionable sale pieces that I often update these days.

Dancing through the night will definitely go on my bucket list. Do you have a bucket list? Would you consider starting one in 2014?


1 comments:

erkka said...

If I had a bucket list, I guess it would have long-term goals like train a horse and write a book.

I was thinking hard to find something I could put for a list for 2014 - something which would be nice, special, and doable. Then I got it: Go to a Astrid Swan live gig !